sinking ship.

& here i am, a jumbled mass of scrambled thoughts. i find myself running frantic aboard this fading ship. two hearts aren't enough to save me. the failed attempts at destination do nothing more but remind me of the ghost of yesterday. where did i go wrong? so now i start to think. maybe its not the ship & its actually me that is fading fast... time is still my enemy. numbers make my life more difficult. i drift back into this vision of what if? what if you came back to save me? it's never going to happen & meanwhile this ship is springing leaks. i'll name them. this one is my uncertain future & potential lack of a home. time is ticking, swallowing more water. this one is my lack of money & my inability to save or take care of debts on time. choking. this one is the girls, or lack thereof that seem to carry shackles & strap them to my ankles. i don't get this. they don't get me. mayday! mayday! there's too much water & i cannot think straight. will someone come save me? nearly two years at sea & i'm sinking fast. abandon ship!

to my long lost queen, my empire is false. my banner now reads "S.O.S."