summer.

for many moons, i've been neglecting to write down my thoughts & time didn't wait. so here i am, surrounded by chaos to the nines. prior to a certain point, my days filled with seemingly endless work hours, limited sleep, & quickly booked up free time. the funds i'd make would run so quickly to the bills i owed. routine, boring days. i saw the neglect in so-called promises from those eyes that used to point towards me. nothing really significant in hindsight or compared to the bigger picture, i suppose. injecting color into my flesh & finally writing music again. music that i felt proud of. finding ways to distance & protect myself. a better direction. i watched a chapter close, a chapter i've known my entire lifetime. a shift in one's life. meanwhile, time & it's cycles crept up with reminders. the phrase "too soon" came with a punch. just briefly after a great one day getaway with someone who never really panned out to what i wanted/needed. hour hand shifts, presents a new day. well wishes sent. not sure how i was feeling. the next morning a bad feeling awaited. the loss of a friend. many unanswer questions & such a terrible feeling. so much confusion came clouding the light of other situations. such scattered focus. my hate for bad timing mixed with my anger towards poor judgment. here i am, days later. still unsure. empty in many ways. as part of me wishes for a moment, the other is still distracted. i hope you found peace, my friend. you are missed and we all love you. rest in peace.