uninterested.

slowly falling apart, growing even more distant & cold. sometimes i wish these headaches were merely a brain tumor, not just me over-processing every thought. desperation of sorts. ideas crushing whats left of this so-called beating heart. wistfulness much better translated as crushing, mostly on the destructive side. i have lost all concept of time. as my head continues to hurt, i waste away searching for distractions. sometimes wasting on clues leading backwards. i notice i've stopped caring longer than i've thought. look at me now. sans haircut, lack of shave. lack of desire, unattached. i can't feel anything like i've felt prior to every moment, cause distance molds me like an ice cube. if i fall asleep anytime soon, how long will this slumber last? when i wake up & continue with these tiresome routines, will there be a moment where everything changes & the future tastes different. so parting technologies for this early morning (to me, still evening), am i so stubborn that the only result is being lonely. or is everyone so fucked up & predictable that i've lost interest altogether?