imprinting.

during the past couple of years, i've grown a bit more used to the idea of "changes" as something i am in absolutely no control of. people come & go, things work &/or break, things can or cannot be controlled. in the passing days, a lot has shifted. leading to this feeling of comfort that i've long forgotten, yet at the same time it's opening back up buried notions. an evolving cast of characters in my sleepy state, a simple kiss to kill me. these are the dreams that haunt me. almost like a christmas carol toward my love life, or lack there of. not really measured on past, present, & future but much rather, levels of greatness. how greatly these things can destroy me. the biggest being the one that haunts the most. the others being fractured failures not really on the path of fixing. then there's this idea of possibilities, at least in my head. could these dreams have insight on hope for those who have given up on hope. i highly doubt it. everything is always so questionable. & i can never seem to make up my mind. leading myself through those tired reminders. imprinting reminders. something needs to happen. i miss the way the music felt, but its at my finger tips. i miss the feeling of having it all, at least as far as my own needs go. i miss myself more than anything.